5 Tips to Help You Talk to Your Older Parents About Social Distancing

Speaking with older parents about the importance of social distancing during the COVID-19 pandemic can be challenging, but experts say following a few simple tips can make a big difference. Getty Images

1. Make sure you’re the right person for this conversation

It’s the nature of the child-parent relationship that a child — no matter their age — might not be the right person for a conversation with parents about changing habits related to the new coronavirus, according to Jenn Leiferman, PhD, director of the Rocky Mountain Prevention Research Center and associate professor of community and behavioral health at the Colorado School of Public Health.

“Sometimes seniors still see their adult children as kids. If that is the case, I’d encourage the adult children to figure out who that trusted messenger is for that parent that they’ll listen to.”

Think about people your parent is comfortable with and trusts, such as a family friend, sibling, or pastor.

2. Come from a place of love — not control

"Make it up front in your correspondence that your explanation behind bringing this up and needing your folks to change their conduct is your adoration for them and your craving to appreciate them for a long time to come. It is simple for this discussion to feel like it's about control. Do all that you can to explain that it's about affection — not control," suggested Dr. Alexandra Stockwell, a doctor turned relationship master and originator of Calm in Chaos.

3. Ask a lot of questions

"Any correspondence with a parent who isn't following CDC rules should start with deference and interest. Nobility and loftiness won't work. Regardless of how right a grown-up youngster thinks they are, a completely useful parent won't be roused by that," Stockwell clarified. 

Ask your parent inquiries to truly comprehend what's driving their conduct — and tune in to their answers. When you hear where your parent is coming from, reflect it back to them verbally to give them that you comprehend where they're coming from. 

"Customarily we can assist individuals with changing their conduct in the event that we make sense of what's driving them. At that point you can enable the parent to recognize and discover approaches to change their own conduct — not quite the same as the grown-up youngster instructing them," Leiferman proposed.

4. Share information from trustworthy sources

Find out where your parents are getting their information from. In many families, the older generation watches sources that have downplayed the pandemic and stated that measures like mandated closures and social distancing are overblown or unnecessary.

Make sure parents are getting correct, science-based information from direct, trustworthy sources like the CDC.

5. Accept that you can only control you

In the end, even if your parents aren’t heeding your calls to protect themselves against COVID-19, Leiferman urges children to offer parents respect, love, and support.

Connectedness is essential for older adults during this time, so teach your parents new ways to connect — and commit to staying connected.

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